My rambling today is about my own journey that I want to end. Can I escape? No. Can I leave? No? Can I die? Yes–but still no.
My life is not as bad… I know other people out there that are living in hell (figuratively). To put it bluntly–my problem is nothing compared to a girl raped by her own father and uncle… My issues in life are nothing compared to the little boy who has to walk 2 hours to school with an empty stomach… My pain is nothing compared to a mom who just lost her baby… What I’m worried about is really nothing… Some people are living in hell… While I am in purgatory (and I don’t know if I even believe in hell, purgatory, and heaven).
So why do I feel so hopeless when there are people around me who should have lost hope but are still hanging on?
Just writing this piece helped me put things in perspective (what a cliche–but it’s true). My troubles are nothing. Truly NOTHING. And I am so ashamed that I thought of escaping. I am ashamed that I felt this way.
There are many versions to this poem but the message does not change. I guess, people stronger than me have this attitude–the DON’T QUIT attitude. I once thought that I had that attitude. Once… A long time ago. And now, I’m beginning to feel that it might just come back. I just need to remember–It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit!