Lola Monins

I was cleaning out my file folders and saw this short piece. I remember writing this on my way back to Dumaguete–after attending the wake and burial of my aunt.

There is a time for everything.

There is a time to live.
There is a time to die.

My Grandma died a few days ago (December 1, 2013). Well, she’s not really my grandma but my aunt (my mom’s sister). But I have always felt like I was one of her grandkids.

During the church service before we laid her to her resting place, I wanted so much to stand up on the podium and talk about my memories of her. But I knew that I would end up not being able to finish.

So here I am.

Lola Monins. You were and you still are an amazing woman. I think it’s hard for me to refer to you in the past tense since you still live in each of us. That’s never going to go. I feel blessed to be one of those kids who got hand made gifts from you. When I think of you, I think of you when you were still out and about—those times when you still walked to Fatima Church to attend the 6AM church service—every day. When I think of you, I think of you making that face when you hear a cock-and-bull story—usually from us kids, your sisters, and also Lolo Eddie. When I think of you, I think of that day when I was in 6th grade and saw you making pancit molo. You were making it for a friend of yours from church. But during lunch, I noticed that you left some for me to eat. When I think of you, I think of how you welcomed me to your home—first as a baby, then as a toddler, then as a teenager, and then as a woman. When I think of you, I think of how you brought me with you to Ate Luchi’s house when you and Lolo Eddie had an LQ. When you started getting sick and when you couldn’t move on your own anymore, I reached into my memories of you and thought about how you were just as loud as your sisters and my cousins. I still remember how you laughed, get pissed, talked, and how you said “oi Marmel, ma late na ka”.

Lola Monins. You have lived your life fully. You have loved fully. I can only hope and pray that I can live a full life like you—and to love fully just like you.