My nephew called me a “raging bull” sometime ago. I would have to agree with the metaphor. And then a few days back, I read the 2011 Horoscope and it said (for Sagittarius people like myself) ”Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever.” I truly had a good laugh coz I would have to agree with the horoscope. Please take note that I didn’t (and I would say, I still don’t) believe in that stuff.

Someone wrote me a hate note in some discussion board of a group that she and I belonged to. It wasn’t the first time that she did that. I never really paid attention until early 2010. She finally managed to piss me off. She wrote:
”just wondring if anyone here did what they call pre employment training? I did that with Marmel Reposar, yup, that name above. yup, mimay, im talking about You. The last time I was treated by anybody like you did was never. making me repeat one particular word over and over again. That magic word was… “tired”. what the…

Anyway, i didnt show up on day3 of the training. Few months later I was called back & asked if i’m still interested with etel. I said yez, I’m willing as long as I’m gonna have none nil nothing whatsoever to do with the great high and mighty Mimay…but it happened once. You sort of assisted somebody i forgot his name in one of the training about upsell whatever. When you started talking I managed to do a big yawn in front of you. Wow, but you didn’t call my attention. That was sweet. (would have been sweeter thou if you did.)
I now live somewhere where English is the main language & so far people here understand me when they hear me say I’m so tired…mimay gurl, didn’t i say that word right or you were just thinking you’re just a heck of a woman& a hard-to-please smart ass…I’ve said my piece. see ya later.”

***That was her message for me. I didn’t edit any part of it.***
I guess she forgot to tell everyone reading that the training was for her to pass the recruitment process, that she failed the initial screening because of her communication skills, that she wasn’t an employee yet, and that I didn’t want anyone from my class to fail. I wanted everyone to pass. It’s hard for a trainer to tell someone “sorry, maybe in a month or two you can re-apply”. She really didn’t get it.

Fortunately, the day that she posted her “love letter”, I was under the “raging bull spell”. And so I replied:
“FYI (VELIA)… i am not denying anything. 🙂 i actually agree with you. i am hard2please because i do not settle for anything less than what is expected. i am a smart ass coz i am smart! i wouldn’t be where i am now if i didn’t know how to use my brains (cough cough). and i am one heck of a woman because i was raised one! just like my mom. just like my sisters. just like my girl friends. so deal with it.

this will be the first and last time that i am ever going to stoop down to your level. seriously. my back is already aching. so continue to hate me… hate me until you get consumed by it… hate me until it makes you really happy. 🙂
so velia… later today, i’ll light a candle for you… hoping that when the flame dies out, you get some peace…”

I did light a candle for her that day. But I wonder, did she get the peace that I wanted her to get? I  truly don’t know. I also don’t know if she posted another letter online. But as I’ve said before, I won’t be entertaining it again.

Back to the bull.

Bulls are color blind, in case you didn’t know. It’s not the red cape that makes them mad but the constant flapping of the cape. It’s actually a gray cape for them. With that in mind, as I’ve said before, I would really agree with the metaphor. I can be tolerant—but only to a certain extent. And when I have reached my limits, I transform. After that, I calm down. But I rarely regret the transformation.
I am not saying that I am right—that how I react is right. But I would say that I have the right to feel what I want to feel and to say what I want to say (to a certain degree).

To end this, let me quote myself ”So to all you haters out there—my so called ”frenemies”, be careful when you see me smile. Coz you have no clue what’s behind it. 😀 You’ve seen me at my best, make sure you’re prepared to see me at my worst coz it’s not a pretty sight. Good luck. And I mean it.”